Total capitulation to the void
Maybe we should just stop making video games. Maybe we should go outside. We should go into the woods and find a stick shaped like a sword. And like go dig a hole in the backyard.
The IGN review that turned Asmongold into a luddite
A half hour IGN preview of Dragon Age: Veilguard quickly sent Asmongold into a fugue state as he couldn’t help but point out the bad game physics, ugly characters and weak CG effects. At one point, he asked whether it was a mobile game.
Will Dragon Age: Veilguard be worse than Concord?
Below are some selected quotes from Asmongold’s increasingly desperate pleas for the reasoning behind Bioware’s story, character and combat design choices.
This is so unbelievably bad. You know what this reminds me of? It reminds me of games that tried to copy Dark Souls in 2013.
Every single thing about this game is repulsive. The story & characters seem bland. The graphics are garbage. The UI looks like it came from Raid: Shadow Legends, except Raid is better. The spell effects are like a visual migraine. I just can’t see anything good about this.
I’m going to say something right now and it’ll be controversial. This looks worse than Concord. And I don’t even think that it’s close.
Of course, this is a reference to Sony’s hundred million dollar franchise shooter launch that closed up shop in its first two weeks due to audience apathy and low player count.
In response to the reviewers closing note that “This could be the hit Bioware needs.” Asmon responds,
It is. It’s the hit that will send it into bankruptcy.
What happened to Bioware?
Any video game fan may wonder how the studio that dominated the late 2000s and early 2010s with titles like Mass Effect, Baldur’s Gate, and Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic could be in trouble. However, it’s been just over a year since Bioware announced massive layoffs in a restructuring that the company promised would make it more ‘agile’ and better able to handle the modern gaming environment.
A quick reading-between-the-lines of their statement depicts a company that is having a hard time finding its audience and its financial footing. Even noting that Veilguard was referred to a year ago as Dragon Age: Dreadwolf, is indicative of a marketing panic as the game creeped closer to launch.
Asmongold indirectly blames part of the poor execution on a cult-like devotion to diversity, representation and promoting positive body imagery, rather than a focus on actual gameplay. Asmongold’s code word for this is ‘soft modern.’
“This is the epitome of soft modern. And I will play this game, as I played Star Wars: Outlaws. But I fully expect to have to lay down 5 hours in and have an existential crisis.”
We’ll see how long Asmongold’s hate-play of Veilguard lasts, and whether it brings the kind of publicity that the stumbling Bioware needs at this crossroads.
