A brief history of creamy, streamy peanut butter:
It is widely believed that acclaimed inventor George Washington Carver invented peanut butter, but that is to use the parlance of today “Fake News”. The inventor of “Peanut Paste” was Marcellus Gilmore Edson, a Canadian Chemist and Pharmacist.
Marcellus milled roasted peanuts between heated plates, giving us the first exposure to what would eventually be one half of the traditional sandwich for impoverished children’s school lunches. He initially attempted this in the year of 1884, the same year that the Siege of Khartoum in Sudan by Mahdist forces would last ten long and grueling months. It has been been 137 long years since Mr. Edson changed the course of human history with a handful of legumes and a dream and since then Peanut Butter innovation has been at a standstill. That is until Twitch Streamer Jack Dire decided to once again alter future history books with a bold and creamy decision.
From Jack Dire’s Stream “Jar of Peanut Butter”
A Streaming Visionary
As Andy Kaufman was to live comedy or Andy Warhol was to art, Mr. Dire is to the modern Twitch Channel. Most Twitch Streams revolve around playthroughs of common video games like Call of Duty or Minecraft, Jack has gone in a different direction. Jack Dire’s Twitch Streams include a static shot of a jar of JIF Peanut Butter with a chyron emblazoned with “This is a live video”. The Lighting does not change. The Backdrop Does not Change. The only thing that does change is intermittently a Bear will show up at which point, the viewers of the stream will message the chat “ Bear!” in hopes of hunting the elusive beautiful beast. There is a 1/100 chance those who exclaim about the bear will successfully hunt the bear and receive a reward. In a world filled with Ninjas and Pewdiepies, Jack has cornered a part of the market that no one saw coming. Almost Painfully understimulating, his Streams get an approximate average of 6,000 viewers per stream, which is no small accomplishment given the production budget of this stream probably comes to approximately $5.99 depending on where he shops.
Jack Dire disguised as a dog
On date of writing this, Jack Dire has over 125 subscribers and 15,886 followers and should be protected at all costs..If art is not allowed to change then art will die. Jack Dire does not ask you to like, share and subscribe; he asks you to think. He is the inventor of the popular board games “Superfight” and “Red Flags” and the moderator of in this writer’s opinion the most groundbreaking twitch stream known in this Galaxy.
