PC Gamer’s Morgan Park Doesn’t Appreciate Why PUBG is Still a Fan Favorite After Four Years.
10 Days ago, PC Gamer wrote a PUBG review from the perspective of tween, manic pixie dream guy gamer, Morgan Park. Morgan briefly returned to the PUBG realm after a four-year hiatus, and shortly after a few matches, got the vapors and swooned. The game, he recounted, was all but unplayable due to wait rooms, clunky graphics and a general sense of ennui in the looting phase.
PUBG is for Adults and Very Serious Children.
The gritty realities of PUBG, or as I call it, ‘Grownup Fortnite,’ are often too stark for your average professional video game columnist. PUBG is a straight simulation of ‘The Most Dangerous Game’ borne out of a hunger games tournament. There is no Dua Lipa soundtrack for arming yourself. There is no cackling Wario smacking you in the head with a banana peel. There are no lobby puppet shows. Only waiting, and death.
If you didn’t spend your Steam dollars hoping for waiting, and then death, may I recommend the Unicorn Princess for the PS4.
The halycon pastures and rainbow lullabies of tUP may be more your speed, Morgan.
To play PUBG is to know that life is fleeting. It is to know that the sound of a fizzy drink can cracking behind a wall, is the sound of a mercenary with murderous intent and Red Bull in their veins. We do not play PUBG to examine the pixel density of a daffodil. We play PUBG to sit atop a desert cliff and snuff out the lights of tiny blobs scurrying along the canyon foothills. In PUBG, all little scurrying blobs are created equal. None are virtuous, none are evil. All are one in their futile quest to avoid The Encroaching Blue Wall of Death.
Below are other Park criticisms of The Game. I will deal with them in turn.
“Vehicles drive like butt.”
Morgan Park
This isn’t Rocket Cars Play Soccer, sir. This is ‘hoping that there’s enough gas in this abandoned Chevy Suburban to get me to the next murder town’ driving game. It’s clunky. So is trying to ride a ’92 mustang through sagebrush and tumbleweeds, kicking the shit out of the shocks, while taking fire from a Man in a Dino Mask atop a deserted Office Max.
“Outfitting a rifle with a few attachments I found in a dingy garage is still a chore.”
Morgan Park
It’s a chore to eat Lucky Charms half-dissolved into Sprite, sitting alone in front of your Alienware array, hoping that this hunt for human game might help you to forget the even bleaker reality behind your blackout curtains. You should be thankful for that Tactical Stock you found under the lobby urinal. It’s your only friend now.
“Loot spawns in messy clumps.”
Morgan Park
82. 82. 82. 246 total toothpicks.
For posterity, I’m also publishing some of the comments left on the PC Gamer piece. As, I’m sure, Mr. Park didn’t read them under his own article.
It’s still the best tactical BR out there because it doesn’t have hitmarkers and it makes you think and not just run and gun. It’s in a great state right now, it just needs a bigger playerbase because they have too many queues. All the guns are different and you should be finding a vehicle asap and then driving towards shots all the time. Pick and take every fight.
Im sorry, but i have to agree with this article being BS in objective standpoint. However, it is good article from a modern “run and gun cod” generation standpoint.
The reason im saying this is simple- the author doesnt look like he enjoys playing something more tactical and slow paced than call of duty. That is not meant as an insult- with so much to play and do, it is a legitimate thing to want, to have game where no second is wasted and i totally respect that.
That said, i would expect some level of objectivity from PCG article or at least upright aknowledgment, that this game might be from certain viewpoint.
Most obvious thing ive noticed- it completely ignores what the point of the game was meant to be when it launched. It was meant to be fairly realistic, yet still containing arcade elements to make it playable. Meaning, it was meant to be some degree of frustrating to even get your first kill. I mean you dont go to Dark Souls franchise and complain how difficult and frustrating it is
PUBG has its issues, sure. But none of them are actually in the article. Oh and btw- i actually hadnt played PUBG since early 2018, but then i got back into it like a month ago. Fun game.
55 hours spent in game, I should have closed it after reading that and the author still thinking his opinion held any value.
Reading on only got worse, complaining about how looting works because he hasn’t figured out drop and drag, complaining about lack of hitmarkers.
Probably best to stick to call of duty champ, perhaps write about the games you are familiar with
For more on PUBG, check out our strategy guide, Why I Play 1 Man Squad Instead of Solo.
