Reddit user LillSheet uploaded this epic cliffhanger of a video on Reddit’s Minecraft subreddit today.
It depicts an accidental sniping of a Pigman by the player, who is actually aiming for a ghast — one of the more effective haranguing mobs in the Nether, otherwise known as Minecraft’s Upside Down.
Though Pigmen also reside in the Nether (which is otherwise a dangerous hellscape only reachable through demonic portal) they are basically neutral. A Pigman will not attack a player unless provoked. And, if provoked, every Pigman in earshot will join in the pursuit of the player who dares to break the unspoken social contract between the Nether Spellunker and the Pigmen.
This unspoken contract is approximately the following:
“Hey, we get it. You’re here for the blaze rods, and ghast tears, and alchemy ingredients that will allow you to become a Living God in the Pretty Upper World. You are welcome to them. We will not intervene. We are the unwanted children of the Nether. We did not ask to be here. We’d prefer to live in Phoenix. We like dry climates, but we’re pretty sure the lava fumes are shortening our already brief lifespans. Also, we’ve heard tales of the Endless Western Sky, and the Twinkle Stars, and the Vast Blue Oceans made out of Not-Burn. We envy you, player. And though we could easily channel our jealousy into violence, we do not. We accept our fate. We are the denizens of Minecraft’s Third World. We subsist on Nether Wart broth. It tastes similar to your Elmer’s Glue. We eat it at room temperature, which is to say, very hot.
We are neither pig, nor men. We can neither live among the townspeople of the Pretty Upper World, nor their livestock. We are the in-between people. We have no allies and no enemies. We are sterile. We cannot pro-create. Only when a Pretty Upper World pig is struck by lightning (as delivered by our God, Pigseidon) do our numbers increase.
We do not know where or when the next Nether portal will appear, carrying with it a ravenous demi-god of world construction and blacksmithing and alchemy — hungry for our resources, our lands, our lava-kin. We cannot hope to out-smarten the demi-god. We cannot overpower him. We cannot close off our world to these portals — which have inadvertently given our kind a taste of a world we knew not existed.
The Pigman has nothing but his brothers. We are, all of us, the children of mud and thunder. Mud cannot be broken. Thunder cannot be captured. If you harm a single Pigman, you harm all Pigmen. Though it may be futile, all Pigmen will come to the aid of any Pigmen. So was it scratched into the Netherrack by the first of us. So will we be bound to this pledge til the last of us plunges into the Lava Ocean.
Be warned, Demi-God Traveler. Also, please leave more chickens. We have become accustomed to Eggs Benedict.
</grunt>”
